3 Days and Counting

I've been reading a lot on the internet. I probably shouldn't. I think it's got me paranoid about complications. Of course I am worried about a lot of things, but I am really scared I am going to die on the table. I just have to push all those negative thoughts out of my head.

My partner and I have been fighting a lot lately. We even fought last night about the weight I was going to lose after the surgery. It's not that she doesn't believe in me, I think she just doesn't think I will do it. I think she is almost as scared as I am, but she shows it differently, and frankly, I need someone to be strong for me. I am falling apart.

I don't like pain, I don't like stitches and staples. I want to talk to my ex about all of this since she went through it, but I am afraid to call her. I'm just a basketcase mess.

I was asked today by a coworker to talk with her niece about having a reduction and what she can expect. I laughed and said I don't even know what to expect yet, but I would be happy to help!

Maybe tomorrow will be better.